Live 'n' Dangerous

With the exception of my university teaching duties, I very rarely speak in public.  The only time I’m tempted is when I have a new book to promote.  It’s not something I’d choose to do but the reality is that my books don’t have a natural constituency – such as undergraduate marketing modules – and so each one has to be promoted, after a fashion.  Occasionally, as with Harry Potter, this entails TV and/or radio appearances, which is my idea of hell on earth.  Most times, it’s a specially prepared presentation (read, sales pitch) that I’ll deliver to anyone who invites me.  These range from prim and proper academic conferences to rough and ready practitioner events.  I’m not proud.  A sale is a sale.

Incidentally, when I say ‘specially prepared presentation’ I mean specially prepared presentation.  These are not ninety-minute rambles backed up by a bunch of PowerPoint slides.  They are carefully scripted, extensively rehearsed, visually striking performances that last between 20 minutes (the standard academic time slot) and 45 minutes (practitioners’ minimum).  Sometimes I wear costumes (Harry Potter) or change my appearance (a ‘Dan Brown’ haircut) or use a prop of some kind (dark glasses).  I’ve even been known to dance.  Yes, it’s as horrible as you might imagine.  Think your worst nightmare…only worse!  My aim, at all times, is to deliver a sales pitch -- sorry, show -- that is unforgettable.

Before you rush off to YouTube for a giggle at my gyrations, I should point out that there are no known video-recordings of my presentations.  I much prefer it that way, though technology is catching up on me, dammit.  I’ve recently signed up with a business speakers bureau (www.sfb.co.uk) and recordings are part of the package.  Watch this space, as they say.